Fallacy
by Serenity Aur
Summary: [Kratos x Yuan] We led, and are still leading, our lives based on lie. A misconception. A fallacy. Yet, a true romance prevails. [AngstRomanceYaoi][30 kisses]
1. look over here

A 30kisses themed fic. All chapters are not chronological order and are not tied to one another.

Disclaimer: Tales of Symphonia belongs to Namco Tales

Warnings: Male on Male Parings, Angst, Sexual Themes, and Sheer Awesomeness

**Author's Notes: Ahem, well, it's been a while, hasn't it? My sincerest apologies. I won't go into details on **_**why**_** I suddenly chose to write this, but I think with this new story, I will be able to concentrate more on the aestheticism of writing and plot itself. Yeah, sounds like a deep concept, but in all, I just want to get better. So, anyway, I would **_**absolutely love **_**reviews and feedback from all my readers. I do accept anonymous reviews, and I don't mind if it's a rough critique or a simple "Good job!" I want to hear it.**

**With that being said, enjoy!**

**Fallacy**

**Kratos x Yuan**

* * *

**Theme I: look over here  
Play vers.**

**Yuan**: Well, look over here. Kratos, I have something to say to you. Actually, I have a lot of things to say to you. Sit down; I want to reminisce a bit.

'You've changed once you started a family.'

Remember when I told you that?

I bet those words ring in your ears to this very day. I bet their burning truth scorch your cold heart. I bet their sheer honesty haunt your endless thoughts. That's what I had hoped for, in the very least. How cruel of me, yes, I'm quite aware of that. But, really, this is a mere fraction of what you have done to me.

Yes,_you_ Kratos Aurion.

Hah, don't look at me like that. You think this is inhumane? Yes, it does sound a bit uncharacteristic of me, I admit to that. But this is nothing compared to you. There is something that I have always wanted to say. How many times I've written these words down in a letter. A rant, you can call it, that I simply must blurt out.

I remember you when we would travel alongside our forgotten companions. Mithos, the once hero, and Martel, my once beloved. No, she wasn't my beloved. Martel was simply something to project an unrequited love to. But that bit has no importance. No, this is about you Kratos Aurion, and how you have corrupted my life and destroyed it by its entirety.

Back then, during the time of the Kharlan War, you'd show compassion and sympathy towards your companions. You'd laugh and joke around with us. Whenever any one of us were down, you'd be right there, lifting up our spirits. Your personality shone brightly with a sense of pride and astuteness. Your garnet eyes would show emotion and rapture. Your façade would show no sign of weariness or deceit.

_(A silence fills the room)_

But look at you now.

You are now the exact opposite of what you have been. And I will admit that I have changed too. It is quite evident that we have all gone down our separate paths. Although, I do not turn a blind eye on what is hard to accept. Martel is _dead_. She will never come back. Anna is _dead_. She will never come back as well. Don't look at me like that.

Look at you.

It's funny that you're gritting your teeth like that. You can assault me at any time that you want. I am here, standing before you, completely defenseless by any attack of any sort. Might as well kill me now, for is it not I that has affected your life as well? Tell me what compels you to remain so resolved in composure. Did I not tell Lloyd of his true father? Did I not interrupt your precious _Lord Yggdrasil_'s vision? Was it not I that nearly took your life by the releasing of the seal? …No, for the most foolish of all reasoning, I ran in to save you that day.

_(A long emptiness)_

"Hahahaha… How odd that laughter has found my lips at such a grave time like this…

(_Darker)_I laugh at my own contradiction. My scatter thoughts… What drives me now to say all these things, I really don't know. I have known them for hundreds, thousands of years, yet I have remained silent. And you have known them too… So many times I've told myself that I absolutely hated you, despised and loathed you with very fiber of my being. I would beat myself to believe that you were a repulsive human being, someone who turns away from the world to fulfill his own selfish acts. How you ruined my life, my entire existence. If only you knew!! If only you could see…

_(Silence)_

(_With great emotion) _Damn it!! Can't you see, you blind bastard?! You have _everything_ that I only dreamed I would once come to possess!! You were once a teacher, a hero, a lord, even a lover and a father. Who am I in the world!?

Who am I really?

_(Dejectedly)_Was my sin so bad? My sinful thoughts of lust and desire? … My thoughts of not only being like you, but _having_you… How wrong must it have been to think of you in such a manner? So much so that my life is now insignificant?

_(A pause)_

…It is clear that you are appalled by me. It is alright that you now think even less of me. It will make no difference of who I am, for I will continue to admire you, like how I have for the many years we have traveled together. The way I felt was beyond my control, and I must say that I am most definitely ashamed. But it makes no importance now... This confession may have been vague and abrupt… But if I were to elaborate anymore, I fear it would be the last thing I would have said to you. But… perhaps it would be for the better. I have come to the conclusion that this was simply a waste of time. A complete waste of time on your part, to hear a friend blurt a very ancient secret. The longer I might have held it; it would have consumed me whole…

No… I…I can no longer bear this…

Kratos Aurion, I love you, no matter how much shame or hate that will derive from it, my body tells me how much love I hold for you.

_(A long silence remains; a solemn look on Yuan's face. He looks down and moves away from the mirror he was talking to all this time)_

???: Well… look over here… (_A different entity states. Yuan swiftly turns behind him to find Kratos standing near the door to his room, Yuan is scared speechless)_

**Kratos**: Yuan _(A contemplative pause) _I've been meaning to speak with you. You're guards led me to your room…_[Silence_

**Yuan: **_(In a low voice) I_ can see that.

**Kratos: **_(Looking down on the floor) _Yes… I thought you were out, though I found it odd, and decided to investigate your whereabouts. _(Looks straight at Yuan) _When I found you … talking to the mirror … I decided to not interrupt you.

**Yuan: **_(Coldly)_Well, that is quite evident Kratos… _(Releases a tired sigh) _Look, Kratos, I'm sorry you had to hear that… But it's the truth, and that's how I feel about you. This perhaps is an unpleasant surprise on your part. If you still wish to discuss something, we can meet at some other time. Other than that, I do wish that you leave.

**Kratos:**But I wish quite the contrary. _(Walks toward Yuan) _Yuan… Have you given it much thought about what I was going to talk to you about?

**Yuan: **_(Confused)_…W-what do you mean, Kratos?

_(Before Yuan can say anything more, he was caught between Kratos' lips)_

**Kratos:**That is what I mean. _(Turns around and starts walking towards the exit) _I'm so glad we had this discussion.

* * *

**Author's Notes: I suppose I'll put some background on this particular fic here. I first thought of this of being a letter that Kratos finds in Yuan's room, but how to end that in a kiss would most likely need needless filler and fluff, plus the theme wouldn't make must sense. Then I started thinking with Kratos and how they say he turns a 'blind eye' on things, so it's like, well look over here. **

**Although, it kind of became a caught in the act type of thing, like oh! Well look over here! So it could have gone a couple of ways off. I never intended it to come out like a play though. I actually started it off through Yuan's point of view, so we can have inside on his thoughts, but I soon took that off, and added in the cool italics. Hehehe. I probably abused them though. Anyway**

**Please review! ;D**


	2. letter

**Author's Notes: This is possibly the latest Christmas fic ever. (laughs) Ah well. Not much I can do about it now...  
**

* * *

** Theme II – letter**

There was a solemn type of silence that filled the emptiness of the room. That silence was soon broken though by an incessant tapping of a certain ink pen.

_Tap tap tap. Tap, _and once more the empty darkness in the air was present. It certainly didn't feel like Christmas Eve.

Yuan stifled a tired sigh and slumped down on his desk. He gave everyone the day off, so the facility was considerably quiet or at least in his office it was. He thought that perhaps for once he can finally finish with the stack of papers that sat on top of his desk. The dreaded pile of reports, files, letters and goddess knows what else seemed like there was no end to them, although it was evident that the stack was almost finished with. However, as the papers lessened, the doubt in his heart grew only worse. He shouldn't be here. Working. He should be somewhere else with a certain someone where they can celebrate their Christmas in peace and quiet. Although, that certain someone hasn't appeared on the surface of the entire planet for the past couple of days and that worried Yuan. It worried him a lot.

_"Kratos would always keep his word." Botta reassured standing by the doorframe to Yuan's office, "Cheer up, it's almost Christmas." And with that he left for the day._ Botta told him that last night, before just about everyone was packing up to go to their families or vacation, or whatever their lives entail them to do.

_Perhaps he's right…Maybe I'm just too bitter. Bah humbug._

The blue haired angel mused to himself, as a small chuckle played across his lips. There was only one person that could make all of this bitterness go away even though it is that same person that makes the bitterness appear at the same time. Some fresh air, some fresh air is what he needs is all. Yuan got up from his desk and wrapped a black, knit scarf around his neck. It was rather cold this year, and despite the desert being… well a desert, the temperature drops a pretty significant amount over the night. He donned his cape and was out of his room. He looked about and saw that the hallway lights were still on. Further listening to the sounds around him, it seemed like there was a lot of activity going on around the main hall of the base.

_What's going on over there?_ He thought, and went to go investigate.

"Lord Yuan! Such a wonderful surprise that you could come!!" One his Renegade subordinates exclaimed and the entire commotion of the party turned to his attention. Not much afterwards, everyone started saying things like "Oh what a pleasant surprise" and "Oh Lord Yuan!" and even "Damn, he wasn't supposed to find out!" The latter of which made the blue haired seraphim smile, knowing that his minions know their place. Although, it was a rather daring feat to decorate the entire hall with lights, banners, ornaments, tiny Christmas trees and presents galore all right up under his nose. And not to invited above all. He'll see to this later though.

"Hmm, well had I known of all this…", he began in a type of condescending tone.

"Ah, erm, my apologies Lord Yuan…"

"I'm only half kidding. Although, I doubt I can stay..." In all reality he preferred not to stay. He was never fond of these types of wild get-togethers, especially when it's with people whom he sees on a day to day basis. Besides, now wasn't the best of times. He _did_ wonder how Botta would look like in party mode, although given only a couple of seconds to imagine it, he decided he definitely did _not_ want to stay to find out. Before he was able to leave the mad house of a Christmas party, he was caught by this said Botta.

"Oh! Lord Yuan, I just received this letter for you." He gave the blue haired man the letter, which was wrapped in a maroon ribbon and hand sealed. "It looks rather important."

"Yes, thank you Botta. I'll be seeing you later." Was all he said, as he grabbed the meticulously wrapped envelope, and turned to return to his office.

"Oh and sir!" Yuan turned around to see what else Botta had to say. "Merry Christmas!" Yuan couldn't help but chuckle at his persistent efforts to cheer him up.

"Heh…same goes to you." was all he said before taking his leave.

As he exited the room, he noticed that some of the lights to a couple hallways were turned off. Looking around, he saw that the one leading to his office was off, which was odd, because it was on just a couple of minutes ago it was on. Someone nearby probably turned it off. That wasn't important though, what is important was the piece of paper Yuan tightly clutched in his hand. Aching to read the letter, he decided to open it where he stood instead of waiting until he got to his office.

_To: Yuan_

Was all the front said, no name from who it is. Although, Yuan already knew from how it is, considering that he's the only one that can call him simply "Yuan" and get away with it. He unwrapped the maroon coloured ribbon with an anxious type of carefulness. After removing the seal, he saw that there was simple note inside. Yuan picked up the handwritten note and easily recognized it as Kratos's.

_Yuan, with all my heart I am truly sorry for disappearing for so long, so abruptly. All in all, I left to search for the perfect gift to give you. It may seem foolish to say such things, but Yuan… I love you with all my being, and this Christmas will be the first one we have together, I tried my best to make it special. Although it seemed that time had run out on me. However, my endeavors didn't result fruitless though…_

Yuan was speechless. He left for a _gift_? It was unbelievable at first. To what extent this man will go for his love…But something else struck an even deeper chord in Yuan. Those seven written words.

"_I love you with all my being._"

Being together for almost a year now, Yuan had never heard such a deep confession of love cross Kratos's lips. The man rarely says, the simple words "I love you." to him, even after they've made love in bed, hearing something so... reading something so profound come from a person who's heart is closed off to the world made Yuan realize just how important he is to the other seraph. Perhaps these feelings have always been there, but just never found the voice in Kratos. The very thought of being so treasured to the man _he_ treasured the most made Yuan well up in tears. He was quick to wipe his tears though, should anyone see his moment of weakness. Off to the office, Yuan.

He walked down the darkness of the hallway, and didn't notice someone was standing outside of his office door until he got there.

"I was afraid that I'd miss you." The smooth voice softly whispered to Yuan, who of which didn't realize that someone was waiting for him in the obscurity of the hallways.

"Kratos!" he shouted and quickly jumped out at the other with arms wide open.

"I see you've read the letter." was all Kratos said, noticing the maroon ribbon fall from Yuan's hands. "I'm guessing you want know what I got for you." Yuan looked up at him with a puzzled look. "_My endeavors didn't result fruitless though…_"_Ah yes! I had forgotten._

"Oh, yeah…" Kratos responded with a frown.

"Did you not read the letter?" He inquired.

"Yes! But I had forgotten that you had something for me…" His voice trailed off, if that was not the whole point of this entire fiasco? How funny.

"Yuan, you're getting to old, I'm afraid." the other lightly commented and gently knocked on Yuan's head. He then turned around and opened the door to Yuan's office,

"Shall we go in?" Yuan simply nodded and stepped in first. It didn't take him very long to find out what his present was. His office was converted into a romantic candlelight dinner, his desk draped over with a white cloth, two candles sitting on top two handsome candleholders, a vase of roses and a wine bottle.

"The cloth is woven from the finest silk in Mizuho; the candleholders were especially crafted by Dirk, the best in the land. The roses were freshly picked by a florist in Palmacosta and the wine was the most expensive bottle from all of Meltokio. I have traveled all over the world for you to only find the very best for you Yuan, and I would gladly do it again." Kratos said, looking deeply into Yuan's eyes. He had gotten the very best of everything, assembled all for a simple Christmas night. How very romantic. How very foolishly romantic.

Yuan was indeed surprise. He looked down at himself and closed his eyes. Then he laughed. _Laughed._ Kratos didn't understand. What is so funny about this? Does he not believe him?

"Oh, Kratos. It's funny how we've been together but hardly know each other at all." Was what Yuan said and wiped the tears that were streaming down his eyes. Kratos still couldn't follow his logic. Did he mess up somewhere?

"Have you forgotten why I fell in love with you?" He smiled a sad smile, as his eyes glistened with more tears that were soon to follow. Kratos didn't like the way this was turning out, although with that aside, he pondered the question Yuan asked him.

"It is because I love _you_. Not material items. I fell in love with everything about you, from your features to your faults." The red haired angel before him only smirked as he placed a palm to his forehead. It was his own vision of what is romance that had blinded him all this time. Yuan pulled out the letter from the envelope he had in his hand and gave it to Kratos.

"This is what made my Christmas." Kratos took the letter in his hands and read his own handwriting. Yuan said that he had forgotten that Kratos has a gift for him, so what else here can be so special?

"They are exactly seven words." Looking over the note once again, he finally understood. Yuan was always one find such importance in the most insignificant of things. Kratos smiled, now realizing the insightfulness of the phrase.

"…I love you with all my being." He softly murmured. Which was the truth, of course. Although, Kratos just couldn't find the courage to tell Yuan just how much he felt for him. The blue haired seraphim in front of him still smiled that same smile, although now he understood that it wasn't a sad smile. It was... something else. A joy that is not joyful, but is instead so pure. A happiness that is beyond the superficial meaning of the simple word "happy".

They exchanged glances in silence, both now coming to grips with the true spirit of what it is with being in love. Then with no hesitation, their lips were locked in the most passionate kiss of their lives.

Then had it truly been a very Merry Christmas.

* * *

**Author's Notes: ****Thank you all for reading!! To tell you the truth, I didn't like this story one bit until I wrote the ending. It was sure tough to write though, considering that I didn't have a single lead or basic plot to this story. Although, when it unraveled as soon as I wrote it, I started to think "Hey, this isn't half bad." It seemed like the beginning was then too long and insignificant, but I didn't have the time to go back and change it. I do hope you like it as it is.  
**

**Now, to start on the next story before they start purging my butt again. (Deadlines suck!)**


End file.
